The naughtiest of energy drinks?

I really need to get me one of these, not because of the name nor because of the design (although I kinda like it) but because I'm guessing it'll only be around for a short while.

It sells in the UK only though so I'll have to dig around a bit in order to get my hands on it.

(Sorry for the lack of updates, much turmoil in my personal life means that none of my blogs have seen much action.)

Dark Dog Original

Here's one of my oldest cans, dating back to the late nineties. The can isn't all that pretty but I like the fact that you can sell an energy drink with some sort of mutant rat/dog hybrid on it (maybe Sam was their inspiration). The Flying Dog Brewery is doing almost the same thing with their brand of (very tasty) beers now so I guess it works good enough.

The Dark Dog web site is, as always, a horrible Flash based thing that really doesn't do you any good. The alternative site, DARK DOG CITY isn't much better either although you do get some information about what the Dark Dog money is used to.

They seem to be into sports quite a bit and also safe sex(?) - which I actually think is great. Not that there's an obvious connection between energy drinks and sex (but you'll find it if you keep looking) but any way the general populace is informed about the dangers of unprotected sex the better.

Did you know that a condom protects you against pregnancy 99% of the times you use it and that coitus interruptus (aborted intercourse) protects you about 50% of the times you use it. No need to get anyone pregnant by mistake (or get a disease for that matter).

I have two more cans from Dark Dog line. They also have a 33 cl can as well as a 50cl can that I'll try to get my hands on somehow.

My wish list

I decided to cook up this wish list as I find more and more cans all over the world that I really would like to add to my collection. This way I can just refer to this list whenever I need to mention what I'm looking for.

I am, as I've mentioned before, willing to pay for shipping and the cost of the can if that is what it takes to get my grubby mitts on the can in question.

The list is ordered in no particular fashion at the moment and Blogspot breaks the code something horrible and I can't fix it. It will look like this for the time being.

Drink	Country
Elixa	South Africa
Toro XL	Spain
Shark Cool Bite	Thailand
MAXXX Energy	Austria
Phantom	Colombia

Cult 250 ml

The CULT "energy activator" is one of the few energy drinks that doesn't contain taurine. It also doesn't taste exactly like Red Bull, always a plus in my book (as long as it doesn't taste like Die Blaue Sau).

Looking at the official site for Cult I immediately notice a girl in underwear, lying on a bed. In order to see more of her I have to register and create a profile. Which I do even though she's in the USA and I'm in Sweden.

But the site won't let me tell her that as I can only choose from the United States of America. No steenkin' Eurotrash is allowed (at least not me as I later found a girl from Denmark as well). Still, I send her a "Let's meet up somewhere!" CULT Flirt - perhaps she's willing to travel?

So, the CULT site is more a social/dating site than a product/company site. Which is just as good as some of the company sites I've seen during these "reviews" have been horrible. Still, they do have a menu option that isn't related to partying all night with hot chicks and guys while activating your energy, preferably with CULT.

And whaddayaknow - they have other cans that I must have to complete my collection; the CULT Light (no points for guessing how this one is different) and CULT Fruits (bonus points if you guess how this one differs).

No, it doesn't just taste like fruit, it also contains 70% juice. So, most likely no bonus points to you. Adding juice to a regular energy drink seems to be more and more popular, perhaps this will become a trend?

Another interesting thing about Fruits is that it may or may not taste fresh. Perhaps no-one has tasted it yet or if they have, forgot to inform the marketing department about the amount of fresh that it actually taste.

So, the CULT PARTY TO THE MAXXXTREME site left me longing not only for their new products but also for someone to activate my energy with. Will it be you? Answer to "Come activate my energies".

XL

I really don't have a good angle for this can, a good way to approach it so to say. I tried googling for "pure energy" but only came up with a bunch of training centre and the odd gas/oil company so that didn't do the trick.

I guess I could swing by the product home page and scope out the other products they offer only to find out that they've changed the packaging from the one own, prompting me to look for the new can, but I've done that as well so let's try and find something else.

One thing I haven't done is take a look at the stock info for XL Capital Ltd but I don't understand much of it - except that they seem to be on the rise. Buy?

A music video about "extra large" by a Turkish group has to be a first though.

And what would a comb through of the Internet be without some more or less coherent rambling?

As for the can and drink - nothing XL about it at all...

Missing updates

I just wanted to inform the few of you that read this blog that there's quite a lot going on in my life now that makes it harder for me to post on a regular basis.

I'll do my best to keep it up but as you've surely noticed by now I am slipping behind. This is not something I'm proud of as I believe in consistent updates once I've committed to a blog but I'm hoping that you'll bear with me for a bit longer.

Thanks.

Go

If you ask Google to define "go" you get a whole bunch of answers. Some well known and some less known. One or two are all but rubbish.

In Sweden "go" is slang/dialectal for "tasty". It's pronounced with a long "o" - as in "goo". The original word in Swedish is "god", also with a long "o" but still not the same way as "good".

So was it then? Tasty, I mean.

Well, it was, if I recall correctly, another Red Bull clone as far as taste goes and theres 320 mg caffeine per liter just as with almost all the rest of the energy drinks.

What I like the most about this can is the design. It's clean, simple and direct without becoming the Euroshopper can. It tells you up front that it's an energy drink that makes you go (presumably to the races).

This is another Starzinger brand of drinks (as are the Bomba cans) but I can't seem to find any links to more information about neither the company nor the drink.

I leave you with the lovely video for "Here it goes again" by "OK Go":

Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt

I got this from my brothers friends when they got back from a trip to the States and I love it! Maybe not for all the right reasons though.

Steven Seagal has made one good movie, the rest is just different sorts of crap and I have to say that this energy drink perfectly symbolizes the majority of his movies; it tries too hard to be cool, it's full of obscure Asian references, it has a stupid and more or less meaningless name, it looks cool at the first glance but doesn't hold up to scrutiny and it's contents tastes funny, do very little good and leaves a weird taste in your mouth.

Just read the "quote" on the can from the man with the kung-fu can-can himself, Mr Seagal: "A natural energy drink packed with vitamins and exotic botanicals".

"Exotic botanicals?" I know what it means but come on, could you be any more pretentious?

As for these exotic botanicals the one thing that I guess that Seagal hopes will bring the masses to drink this gunk are the Goji Berries. As far as I can understand Goji Berries are indeed very nutritious but there are, as usual, ways to make a fool and his money part ways. I'm not saying that this drink doesn't have enough Goji Berries to enjoy the benefits but then again, the can doesn't specify how much "Goji Berry extract" there is either.

Next up on the list of exotic botanicals is a funky fungi, "Asian Cordyceps". Wikipedia has among other things this to say:

If a Cordyceps fungus attacks a host, the mycelium invades and eventually replaces the host tissue, while the elongated fruiting body (stroma) may be cylindrical, branched, or of complex shape.

Sounds nice.

The labeling on the can is a bit misleading though as I'm pretty sure the cordycep that's in this drink is the so called vegetable caterpillar and not just any old cordycep. This little feller is even more tasteful than the generic cordycep. The fungi infects a certain type of caterpillar and kills it under ground, close to the top soil. Then...

the dark brown to black fruiting body (or mushroom) emerges from the ground in spring or early summer, always growing out of the forehead of the caterpillar.

And I put this stuff in my mouth!

There's a load of other crap in this one as well but I can't go on any more as I'm starting to feel nauseous.

If the sister drink, the Cherry Charge, also contains the bastard offspring of a killer fungi and a hapless caterpillar then I'll pass on drinking that one. The can always has a place in my collection but the drink goes down the drain.

Gag!

Euroshopper energy drink

This might look like the blandest of bland as far as cans for energy drink go but I actually like it, although not for it's artistic merits.

You see, I've always been a "form follows function" kind-of-guy and this can embodies that philosophy very well. Now, a can can have any sort of design and still be quite functional but we need to look past the actual "container" functionality of the can and look at it's use as a communications device instead.

There is no doubt about what this can contains. Heck, the word "energy" is even written twice (and perhaps once again in ultraviolet ink or something for, you know, vampires or ghosts).

It also bears the same typical color and layout as the rest of the Euroshopper products so you know it's cheap.

I can understand why there's a plethora of cans that copies Red Bull - both by name and by look - but there's also something refreshing about a can that takes a no-nonsense approach to it's marketing.

Compare this can with the Bullit can and tell me which one you'd pick if you quickly needed to grab a can of energy off the shelf.

I'd grab the Bullit can but I'm special that way.